I could not foresee what would be happening during the next few months. As one of the best (female) skydivers in Germany having achieved a lot I naively thought there will be options for a new team, a new project or finally some more hours in the tunnel freeflying. As winter approached suddenly the world turned upside down. As the pandemic increased and time passed by, the opportunities to get back into any team were more than indefinite. It felt kind of strange not to have a packed training schedule, long drives to the drop zone or tunnel, sleeping in my van, living on the drop zone, eating pizza too late and drinking beer at the fire place with a chill crowd.
So I stored my rigs as they were into the shelf and grabbed mountain bike and climbing gear. Even during summer 2020 I didn’t feel the urge to jump, mostly due to the pandemic as I for myself couldn’t handle the fact keeping a distance to people on the one hand and sitting in a packed aircraft with random people on the other. So 2020 went by with no more than 5 jumps and aching ears. And still, after more than 2000 jumps and several championships, a female world record and a German record in my pockets, quite a lot AFF jumps, my brain was running wild. Is this it? Have you come so far just to quit now? I mean, there was no world championship or something similar on my list nor any podium, but still I did accomplish a lot more than most of the skydiving world. But can I bring back enough energy to feel joy again while jumping?
Like most people during the pandemic I redesigned my home and finally put some picture on the wall. Some skydiving pictures of my beloved memories from back then. After more than 12 years of jumping I put my first skydiving picture on the wall, because my heart wouldn’t let go of the sport. I couldn’t even sell my second gear – although I thought I would never ever need it again. When I was a kid with somewhat 16 years I watched sky surfers on tv and made my mind up that this will be the sport I was going to perform. Of course, my parents didn’t allow me to attend a jump course (they are still scared when I go skydiving, but still proud at the same time). And even with this uncertain situation – not knowing when we could go skydive again, if I would find a team or if I would have my place between the cool people, because you’re just the lame hard training belly jumper, I held on to my childhood dream, that one day everything will be fine again, like in fairy tales. And until then I would go mountain biking and climbing.
They did that several times before, but time was never right to go any deeper. But this time, everything fell together, it felt good, no – it felt awesome, because it was a great opportunity to be part of the German female national team. What an honor! In my mind’s eyes my skydiving career ran back and forth and I saw all these accomplishments during the years. But there is still that one spot I couldn’t fill with memories. So after a scouting weekend and several calls with my family I made the decision to do that – to fill that one spot, to be part of a great girls squad, to have the chance to compete on a world level, indoor as outdoor, to be named member of the national team, that will give all its guts just do the best and to be the best.
suddenly I remembered that shelf where I stored my rigs more than a year ago. They still looked beautiful, clean, dry, no spider webs – but also no current repack! Also empty batteries, a due Cypres check, worn out shoes, still the scratch in my jumpsuit I wanted to fix since ever then. All that just 3 days before the first jump with the new team members. Damn it! Thank God they did not know that. The first jumps for more than a year. Wow, SKYNAMITE girl power hit the sleeping beauty right in the face. I ran to get a repack, actually 2 and tried to get some skydives before team training. Am I safe enough to jump in groups? Am I safe enough to jump on my own? Even after such an amount of skydives, I was nervous, I was so freaking nervous to jump out of an airplane. I knew I checked everything, I knew everything was perfect, but still I honestly was nervous.
but instantly stopped when the wind hit my face from opening the door. I got up and put myself in the door, feeling the prop wind on my chest. And yes, it felt as no time has passed, as there was no pandemic, as I never had a time off. Here I am, back to jump the world, back to compete with the best ladys in Germany from team SKYNAMITE, back to be the athlete I always was and always will be – never giving up, always putting my full strength into training, trying my best to be the best version of myself at the moment, having the hope and the courage to create something extraordinary Germany has never seen before.